Passing afternoon...

Isn't it funny that nowadays, about the only time when I really get to blog is when I'm sick at home?

I miss writing so much, I think I've kinda forgotten how to write. Nowadays, even my thoughts seemed to be little disjointed fragment of sentences. Now, all I'm accustomed to writing are reports and reports and more reports. For work, and for school. I remember I used to dislike news writing (speaking of which, that will be my module come May), as it requires me to be succinct (something which I've never learn...), objective (hey, I'm a heart over brains girl ok!), and really boring (so not me!). Ironically (@liqi & mervyn: you've asked what does ironic means, well here's a darn good example finally!), that's where I am now. I write succinctly, objectively and in my own words, boringly.

It seems nothing excites me enough to want to write anymore. I've lost my writing style in this long progress as well. I'm still reading, if not more, as much as before. Also, it seems I've also become very critical of BAD written English. Some published authors make me cringed at their bad language and sentence formation, or even bad adjectives used.

The other day I met Kenny for lunch. He asked what had happened to me, and why or how did I become so bitter. Honestly, I was surprised. I never thought of myself as a bitter person. Sceptical about some things yes, but not truly bitter. But to Kenny, his impression of me was always the happy go lucky girl who seemed to have no worries. Our last proper interaction was during JC, not counting the brief moment where we spoke for awhile during his wedding, the time during Ms G's funeral, and then Mel's wedding. Somehow, he just couldn't understand how I've changed so much. The outer shell is much the same, albeit, maybe a little fatter, but it seems my inner self has been decaying for some time.

There are alot of things I wished to achieve in life, which I have yet to embark on. My previous boss advised me that I should read more and know more and learn more, so that I'll know what I want to do with my future. He thought I'm floundering, without any plans of thinking thoughtfully what is it that I really want to do with my life. I just smiled. It was a good piece of advice. I really do wish to read more (& definitely more non-fic, except I just can't get over the initial few paras).

There are alot of things which require money to achieve. So it's a chicken and egg thing. You'll need money to improve yourself. But, to get the money, you'll need to improve so that you'll get more income. So there, we've come one full circle.

Just the other day, I was telling YW "misery loves company". I've been barricading myself from the negativity that's been floating around me. I've been "de-toxing" mentally as well. Despite everything, it is not surprising that some of the negative ions might have already diffused through my wall. Happiness is what you make of it. In fact, even if you're in a rut, all you'll need is just a shift in paradigm, and then you'll be able to see the light.

Something that I'm doing must be not right, since no matter how I twist and turn, I see no light. It may be a sign that instead of a paradigm shift, I might have to do something more drastic, like maybe stepping out of my comfort zone. Maybe.

Baby's getting older and older day by day. I just wish I have the luxury of taking a sabbatical and stay at home all day with Baby. She's grown a lump just below her ear and I'm worried sick. It seems she's can't hear me anymore. Who else can I talk to then?

Miniature Miniature Baby

Guess what I got?


There was this real talented guy located at the top level near the main shopping area of MBK in Bangkok who does tiny dogs in a bottle with plasticine. It was so fascinating and cute, I just have to get one. I even showed him a picture of Baby on my mobile so that he could use it as reference. (His prototypes were mostly common dogs like schnauzer, golden retriever...)


Though mini-Baby turned out to be slightly sleepy-eyed and spastic looking, I still love it! I got one for Jasper (he got the schnauzer) and one for Kris (she got the goldie) as well!

Food for thought?

Cheese muffin, blueberry muffin, pandan muffin & donuts for Baby~~~

I miss my darling!

While I'm enjoying myself at Batam with 姐, I'm also missing Baby terribly!



See you soon Baby!!! MUACKS!

Say Please!

Isn't my darling the cutest? Everytime she wants me to sayang her she'll stretch out her hand like this... Sometimes when I'm sitting next to her, she'll stretch her hand out and rest it on my face or my hands.

Now she's just trying to act nonchalant by looking away.

Zzz

Pretty Baby dozing off...

Baby

Muacks~~~ ♥♥♥ My pretty Baby~~~ だいすきだよ！！！とてもだいすき！！！

Sleeping Child

The other day, I came home to a sleeping Baby. She was so sound asleep that she didn't even hear me come back.



So... I decided to sneak a picture before she got roused awake... Of course, the moment she heard the camera, she blinked her eyes, looked around with bleary eyes and got a tiny shock to see me sneaking up behind her!

My dear Baby, what would I do without you!!! だいすき！！！

Japan Japan Japan~~~

I'm leaving for Japan~! (\^v^/)

Gonna miss Baby!　またね！！

Happy Birthday My Dear Baby ♥♥♥

おめでと！！！

Baby, I love you~~~♥♥♥ always & forever~~~♥♥♥

Walks

Today I didn't bring Baby down for a walk just so she won't make it a habit everyday also wanna go down... Anyway she's been getting some rashes... Worried!! (@_@)

Poor Baby stuck @ home, feeling very glum about it...

Hit & Run

I'm still pretty tied up with unpacking my stuff. It never seem to lessen. But for once, I thought I'm making some progress! Finally!

Baby is pretty restless and she keeps getting in my way wherever I'm packing. I wanna hurry up and clear up everything by today... coz today's my last day of leave!

我得加油才行！！

Settling in...

Baby and I are trying to settle in. This is Day 2 and I'm dog-tired. No pun intended. The sheer mental stress is much much worse than the physical strain of unpacking. If I managed to survive Day 3, it would probably be a miracle. Please pray for Baby. (I asked John how does someone put a dog to sleep and then my heart couldn't take it when he told me. I spent quite a few nights crying, even with my tranquilisers...)

Did I mention I really hate the landlord? Well I just hope the handover isn't gonna be an ugly scene. It'll be tonight. Pray for me please? I know he's been intentionally making things difficult for me.

Much a mixture of feelings and emotions... if not for my medication, I'm not sure if I can still handle all these stress. Really... Please pray for me too then...

 がんばって！

Should I?

Things are getting to a crux.

Should I put Baby outta her misery and put her to sleep eternally? Can I do that? Is there no other way?

If I don't... what will happen to Baby and me?

Honestly, if I really do put Baby to sleep, I wanna go with her. It's only fair to her. I know I have no right to decide this kinda stuff for her, but alot of times I think she's suffering badly and I'm not doing enough for her. It pains my heart.

But does that mean that by putting her to sleep means I only wanna put my own mind at peace? Can I be so selfish? Especially when she love me whole heartedly?

What should I do? Time is running out...

Baby, My Baby

The idiotic landlord decided he wanted to sell this place after all. I need to look for a new place soon but so far, it's either outta budget or it's not suitable. I'm so worried for Baby, several times, I've even considered the option of putting her to sleep and it's killing me. I wanna go with her... if I really do have to put her to sleep. It's only fair to her. Everytime I think of this... I get all upset and ended up crying for ages... It's like killing your very own daughter...

If I do survive this without Baby, I can guarantee that I'll no longer be what I used to be... but a lesser human...

Christmas presents

It's time to open our Christmas presents. After watching Twilight, I thought I might get the book for myself and check out what the fuss was all about. I haven't bought a book in ages.



Presents for myself. Somehow it made me really happy!! (^@^)



Present for Baby! Her fav toy toy in three different flavours~~~! ♥

偷拍我的宝贝。。。

I love you, Baby!

Engrossed in licking herself...

かわいいね~